Know: One Knows

I'm sure you've had those moments when you were sure no one knows what you're dealing with, or that you even exist. Yet, at other times, you've seen the truth that when it comes to knowing, only One truly knows; and you catch just a glimpse of His love for You.

God is amazingly detailed, and eternally "on time" with His revelation to me. It isn't often that I get a taste of how much God actually notices my sitting down and my rising up, but two days ago I was vividly reminded. It's through these small yet crucial experiences that I fall on my knees in awe of the God who meets my needs, knows my desires, and entertains my minutia. So, here's the story...

On the bright and WAY to bright Monday morning of September 13, I woke up tired, sick, and exhausted from the duties of my childhood growth and development project, which involved me carrying around an egg baby every where i went and waking up at 2 AM to "feed" said egg baby every morning. So, reasonably, I wasn't in a very good mood this monstrous Monday. BUT, to make things WORSE I walked into the bathroom, flipped the switch and pushed my hair back behind my ears. As I did so, I realized that I was missing my left earring! NO! I thought as my hand fumbled quickly to the ear, only to discover that only the back of my favorite pair of earrings was stuck to my ear. Now these earrings are one of the few pairs I've had since the very beginning of my journey with the piercings; they were dangly crosses with shields on top, the epitome of beauty and faith all in one pair of earrings! I struggled with my thoughts as I realized that if it was really a need, God would help me find them; but if it was a want, then I could live without it. Desperately, albeit haphazardly, I searched my bed sheets, the floor, and the bathroom for any sign of my beloved earring. I couldn't help but think I'd probably lost it on one of the long walk I had taken the previous day, trekking through the woods and all that. Deflated, I shot up a quick prayer, the kind even a child would be ashamed of, and headed off to class. That's the day a lost and let go of a treasure.

Next day.... Nothing new

Next day... Something new...

I woke up 2 days after the earring incident, barely breathing as I realized it was 2 AM and I was only waking up out of habit—as my egg project had ended the previous day. I was DETERMINED not to let this midnight wake-up affect my sleep cycle, so I quickly re-closed my eyes and began drifting back to sleep. And then, my hand brushed against a tiny, hard object beneath the covers. Adrenaline built as I grasped the familiar shape and drew it to my still closed eyes. Could it really be? I opened my eyes and felt a shock of gratitude so strong I could barely steady my racing heart. Carefully, I got out of bed, walked over to my jewelry box, and placed that precious earring back with it's mate. I was flabbergasted (blown away, in awe, surprised, etc) that after so much time—when I had long since abandoned the possibility of finding that earring—God knew exactly when the hour would come.

Now, this may not sound like much; and in reality it isn't, but that's what makes it so Incredible. The fact that the earring itself was merely a want didn't deter God from teaching me a lesson that I truly needed: Impossible is a man-made term and He only wants to let me get broken enough to realize how good He really is. I was thinking about this experience in terms of the bigger things in life that I'm afraid to lose. My future, my dreams, my beloved treasures are so close to my heart, I've had them since the very beginning of my salvation. Yet, even if it seems that I have lost them, and the time of possible recovery is past, I can rest sure in God. If it's a need, He'll supply it; if it's a want, He may whisper gently that He's all I really need, or, He might just wait two days after all hope is gone before bringing that very treasure back into my life in a way that glorifies and reveals Himself.

This teaches me faith, this teaches me commitment; and I don't know about you, but I'm quieted and comforted in the arms of a God who constantly reassures me that He knows.

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