The Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr: Thoughts from a woman with a weary soul

 I feel entirely unequipped to throw my voice into this ring... but I will share my experience and thoughts. I read this book after many of my close, trusted female friends described it as a freeing read. I knew I might have a bit of trouble with certain pre-suppositions of the book, but I generally try to read sources I both do and don't agree with, to practice critical thinking and humility that I don't know it all. I understand I will constantly be learning "wow, I was wrong." 

I will say, I am grateful that this book draws attention to the egregious acts so often committed in the church against women, "in the name of Jesus." Drawing this attention is important work, and more men (and women) need to listen openly to these stories, which are so damaging and so real. I myself was in a past relationship where my boyfriend planned one of our "dates" as screening a documentary on worship, which said women should talk with their husbands after each church service to make sure they "as women" were understanding the lesson correctly. 

Due to my personal experiences (the above just being one of many) I found the book extremely triggering to listen to, and had to take breaks throughout. This was somewhat due to my experiences, but also due to the level / intensity of language used throughout the book. The words of patriarchy, oppression, and subordination in particular are used frequently. I wish there had been a discussion of the concepts in this book in both passionate AND gentle ways... However, I'm not sure the book was intended to discuss the nuance of varying theological views on gender roles and how these intersect with historical contexts so much as it was about drawing attention to the ugliest corners of human depravity regarding hierarchy, authority, and abuse. Again, a very important work, but not the same as discussing the nuances in an understanding / neutral way. 

While I don't know that drawing attention to these ugly corners convinces me of the truth or untruth of the author's theological point (that complimentarianism is universally an oppressive belief structure), but it does make me saddened to see the suffering plainly. 

I found her points throughout the book to be very technical, and if I purchased the book over again I'd get the physical copy instead of the audible copy. Listening to the book, it was difficult to tell when the author was using irony or sarcasm, and when she was being sincere. Especially with the sensitive nature and complexity of the content, I think receiving it through a reader's intonations could potentially impact the way the points are heard. 

Lastly, I want to say many of the conversations about authority, hierarchy, and gender roles (it seems to me) focus on the empowerment of women (which I'm all for!) but do not focus at all on the humility of men. I think the author makes this point briefly when she talks about Paul discussing mutual submission in the verses directly preceding "wives submit to your husbands" in Ephesians 5. But I still think it's a pivotal missing piece in the conversation at large and especially in this book. 

For example, in the secular, Feminist book "Burnout" by Emily and Amelia Nagoski (researchers and authors) explore and explain the concept of "human giver syndrome" as the dominant cultural norm we live in (Human Giver Syndrome originally appears in the book "Down Girl" by Kate Manne). Basically, in Human Giver Syndrome women are generally socialized to be human GIVERS, shy, accommodating, and service-oriented / considerate; while men are generally socialized to be human BEINGS, owners of power, influence, dominion, etc. Nagoski & Nagoski talk about this obviously being a heinous and damaging socialization structure, which causes men (generally) to take on the exclusive role and belief that they wield more responsibility and power than women, and causes women to believe they must (generally) be self-sacrificing and non-demanding especially in deference to men. 

Later on in the Burnout book, the authors discuss the solution for Human Giver Syndrome (the root and perpetuating belief underlying patriarchy). In their research, the solution is NOT to raise everyone as human beings (which would create, in their words, "eternal war" of brutish comparison and power plays; but, to raise everyone as healthy versions of a human giver, where everyone has a"moral responsibility to be generous and attentive to the needs of others." 

My point in bringing up this secular source is this: I find it ironic that two Feminist authors are talking about this point of mutual humility more than the people of God. I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that the people of God would be familiar with this concept of mutual love and submission as central to the Gospel. I would assume that regardless of whether they fall into complimentarian or egalitarian camps they would be passionately discussing how they could mutually love and submit to God and others. 

To close, I think, even though the language of The Making of Biblical Womanhood might be a little harsh for me, that's generally the point she's trying to make: Perhaps there is still enough of an unconscious undercurrent of "women are designed to serve men and others; men are designed to lead" that the church feels these roles are mutually exclusive. In other words, many in the church may hold the inerrant belief that for women to serve men and others means they can't lead; and for men to lead means they can't serve women and others... 

I, personally, would love for us all to practice more dialectical thinking and realize every human has callings for BOTH leadership AND submission. They are not, they cannot, be mutually exclusive, or it would destroy our believe in the ultimate servant-leader Christ Himself.

Anyway, just my thoughts. I'd love to hear yours if you take the plunge and read the book! Again, I think if I had to read it again I'd choose physical reading over audiobook. I hope that's helpful!