Sunny in Sunday
Ever feel like the whole world should exist in an unending Sunday? Like a revolving door you could choose to enter and exit at will? I mean, who hasn't taken the revolving door even when there is a "quicker" more efficient door across from it? Who hasn't taken one extra round on the doors even though they had an appointment to make? Something about the revolving door makes us playful, adventurous, carefree, happy.... That's how I feel about Sundays.
Of course, this particular Sunday was an exception, at least for the morning. I woke up figuratively on the wrong side of the bed (and literally for all I know). I was unhappy... plain and simple... though I was making it the most complicated emotion on the planet. Justifying its continuation based solely on my theory that it was unfounded. Somehow I thought "if it sticks around some more, I'll be able to think about it longer and find out the root." Turns out, unhappiness is not that complicated... at least not for me. I have plenty of reasons to be unhappy, that's part of living on this planet. Yet, I have even more reasons to be happy, that's part of living on this planet. When I find myself in negative headspace it's not usually because I "chose" to be there or consciously stepped out of happiness into unhappiness. However, choice and consciousness are inevitable in the journey back to happiness.
Happiness, not unlike unhappiness, is a transient emotion. It is constantly coming in and out of focus based on circumstances, hormones, perspective, and luck. It is also based on will, this is not to be overstated. Unhappiness, too, is transient. It comes and it goes. Like a wave in the ocean swelling, climaxing, crashing, fading. In this sense, unhappiness is not threateneing. It is not permanent. In this sense, happiness is not permanent either: it is not to be sought after as the "be all end all." It's not to be held onto, but rather let in and out of life freely.
I'm not saying "feel whatever emotion happens to be forefront that day." I'm just saying neither emotion is permanent and both are part of life.
Now, back to the "will" aspect of emotion. Just because happiness isn't something to hold tightly doesn't mean it's something to wait for. One way to become happier is to try and be happier. Make choices that make you happy. Think of positive experiences. Smile. Your brain honestly doesn't know the difference between real laughter and fake laughter so "fake it til you make it, here." Turns out, as you try and be happier, you actually will be happier for your efforts.
I practiced that today as I attempted to dispel my bad mood. First, I cried it out. Bad moods need to be acknowledged just like little toddlers that want to be picked up. Then you're able to put it back down again and move on. Second, I prayed (you could actually count crying and praying as simultaneous, but for my purposes and this post we will separate them). Praying is a big deal for me before I change any emotion I have (positive or negative). I want to make sure the emotion isn't an indicator of something God's trying to make me see. I thought, "is my unhappiness reflecting my distrust? My selfishness? My jeaously?" As far as I can tell, it wasn't any of those things. It occurred to me that I can trust God, practice serving others, and rejoice with those who rejoice; while simultaneously forgetting to invest in a happy life (joy is something different here, I'm strictly talking about happiness).
In 1 Timothy God is talking a lot about contentment and appropriately placing our faith in things that last. It's important to acknowledge how much this passage is tied to fulfillment. Yet, tucked away in this expose is this wonderful sentence that tells us God "richly blesses us with all things to enjoy." Now, I don't know about you, but when I read this I tend to place it in the same "christian bin" as selflessness aka "I shouldn't seek after material things cause God will give me everything I actually need." This isn't a horrible bin... but for me it led to the fear that each time I sought after something I thought would make me happy (i.e., working in the eating disorder field, studying psychology, learning to play the guitar, singing, etc) I was inherently disobeying or displeasing God.
This is simply not true: God is not instantly angry when His children pursue the passions He gave them. In fact, I imagine it brings Him great joy to see His children enjoying this life. God is more glorified in happy people than in miserable people.
Today, I learned and practiced that developing a solid trust in God's sovereignty does not inevitably quell the legitimacy of seeking after my own happiness. I am allowed to brain storm things that might make me happy, and to pursue those things that are within my grasp and vision; all with the understanding that God is ultimately in control and will faithfully steer me toward that which will actually fulfill me and glorify Him. Waiting on God doesn't mean standing still and making no decisions. It means making decisions in the confidence that God is already working all things out for our good and His glory.
Want to know the decision I made today?
I dyed my hair back to blonde.
And I feel happier
#happysunday
Of course, this particular Sunday was an exception, at least for the morning. I woke up figuratively on the wrong side of the bed (and literally for all I know). I was unhappy... plain and simple... though I was making it the most complicated emotion on the planet. Justifying its continuation based solely on my theory that it was unfounded. Somehow I thought "if it sticks around some more, I'll be able to think about it longer and find out the root." Turns out, unhappiness is not that complicated... at least not for me. I have plenty of reasons to be unhappy, that's part of living on this planet. Yet, I have even more reasons to be happy, that's part of living on this planet. When I find myself in negative headspace it's not usually because I "chose" to be there or consciously stepped out of happiness into unhappiness. However, choice and consciousness are inevitable in the journey back to happiness.
Happiness, not unlike unhappiness, is a transient emotion. It is constantly coming in and out of focus based on circumstances, hormones, perspective, and luck. It is also based on will, this is not to be overstated. Unhappiness, too, is transient. It comes and it goes. Like a wave in the ocean swelling, climaxing, crashing, fading. In this sense, unhappiness is not threateneing. It is not permanent. In this sense, happiness is not permanent either: it is not to be sought after as the "be all end all." It's not to be held onto, but rather let in and out of life freely.
I'm not saying "feel whatever emotion happens to be forefront that day." I'm just saying neither emotion is permanent and both are part of life.
Now, back to the "will" aspect of emotion. Just because happiness isn't something to hold tightly doesn't mean it's something to wait for. One way to become happier is to try and be happier. Make choices that make you happy. Think of positive experiences. Smile. Your brain honestly doesn't know the difference between real laughter and fake laughter so "fake it til you make it, here." Turns out, as you try and be happier, you actually will be happier for your efforts.
I practiced that today as I attempted to dispel my bad mood. First, I cried it out. Bad moods need to be acknowledged just like little toddlers that want to be picked up. Then you're able to put it back down again and move on. Second, I prayed (you could actually count crying and praying as simultaneous, but for my purposes and this post we will separate them). Praying is a big deal for me before I change any emotion I have (positive or negative). I want to make sure the emotion isn't an indicator of something God's trying to make me see. I thought, "is my unhappiness reflecting my distrust? My selfishness? My jeaously?" As far as I can tell, it wasn't any of those things. It occurred to me that I can trust God, practice serving others, and rejoice with those who rejoice; while simultaneously forgetting to invest in a happy life (joy is something different here, I'm strictly talking about happiness).
In 1 Timothy God is talking a lot about contentment and appropriately placing our faith in things that last. It's important to acknowledge how much this passage is tied to fulfillment. Yet, tucked away in this expose is this wonderful sentence that tells us God "richly blesses us with all things to enjoy." Now, I don't know about you, but when I read this I tend to place it in the same "christian bin" as selflessness aka "I shouldn't seek after material things cause God will give me everything I actually need." This isn't a horrible bin... but for me it led to the fear that each time I sought after something I thought would make me happy (i.e., working in the eating disorder field, studying psychology, learning to play the guitar, singing, etc) I was inherently disobeying or displeasing God.
This is simply not true: God is not instantly angry when His children pursue the passions He gave them. In fact, I imagine it brings Him great joy to see His children enjoying this life. God is more glorified in happy people than in miserable people.
Today, I learned and practiced that developing a solid trust in God's sovereignty does not inevitably quell the legitimacy of seeking after my own happiness. I am allowed to brain storm things that might make me happy, and to pursue those things that are within my grasp and vision; all with the understanding that God is ultimately in control and will faithfully steer me toward that which will actually fulfill me and glorify Him. Waiting on God doesn't mean standing still and making no decisions. It means making decisions in the confidence that God is already working all things out for our good and His glory.
Want to know the decision I made today?
I dyed my hair back to blonde.
And I feel happier
#happysunday
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