Titus and Ruth

I've been driving my sister to school lately, which means I get up at 7 am, perform the bare minimum of primping necessary for public appearances, inhale breakfast, and successfully make it onto the highway, to the school, and back. Re-entering the front door, the clock might have just struck 8 and I am torn between revisiting my pillow and finally making THIS day a productive day."

"I WILL be productive today... later," I condole myself, making my way to my bed for a "quick rest."

To my horror, I don't manage to make another appearance until lunch time, Already past the prime of the day, I feel deflated and—once again—unproductive. It also effects my sleep at the end of the day, when I'm finally getting geared up but am forced to hit the hay because of the unavoidable alarm I know will rouse me at 7 in the morning. Unfortunately, this is not a one-time occurrence, this has been my story for the past 4 days. Perhaps it is due to a series of (un)fortunate events, perhaps it is my bad attitude. Either way, I decided to make today different.

Instead of hitting the pillow, I hit the gym... sort of. I stuck in one of my old favorite weight watcher's workouts, ducked around the light fixture as a struggled to turn "groggy" into "high-intensity," and successfully completed a 30 min. aerobic workout, shower, and Bible study combination!

So, on to the study. Titus and Ruth have been great just because I miss the stories themselves so much, especially Ruth (I'd forgotten how much I admire her chutzpa... yes, chutzpa...). Titus is great just because it is straightforward, and it is quick. I've only just completed the first chapter but have already gathered more than 10 character attributes to improve and/or develop in leadership. I would share these with you, but I have something else I'd like to say...

On wednesday, I was watching a Beth Moore video session on Esther (one of the chapter I had missed during my Bible study group time at school). Beth brought out Isaiah 30:18:

"Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him."

Examining this verse, Beth remarks how interchangeably the words "long(s)" and "wait(s)" are used (See various translations for further evidence). She even points out that they are, in fact, the same Hebrew word. Moving on, Beth mentions that it's the "long" that qualifies the "wait" as a wait. Without longing for something, waiting is only the passing of time, not really waiting at all. Adding to this, I think there are both positive and negative qualifications for making a "wait" a "wait." Positively, there is longing; that anticipation and expectation that something satisfying is coming. Negatively, there is dread; that anxiety and fear that something is coming that you can't avoid. I think both qualify a "wait," either in despair, or in hope. This really struck me, especially as it seems I am longing for so many things to happen, or fearing that they never will. Yet, God is waiting too, which means He is longing. Isaiah 30:18 says "The LORD longs to be gracious..." He is waiting, longing for that time when His blessing and purpose can be poured out on us and lived out through us, in His time and for His glory.

It is comforting to realize that "longing" is not an enemy I'm supposed to eradicate in order to feel content; it's a joy of realizing that what I'm waiting for is actually worth longing for.